Does success really lead to happiness?
Updated: Feb 12
I am lying in bed, it’s after midnight and I can’t sleep. My minds racing with a thousand thoughts. Does more money & more success really lead to more freedom and therefore happiness? Or is it just more pressure? Pressure to have a better house, nicer things, more holidays, that dream holiday home...when is it enough???
When will the months of working tireless on my business pay off? I’ve been over and over again on my ideal client, trying to perfect that all important branding message! I’ve spent hours agonising over my Facebook posts wondering how to write my best content, if people will like my tone? How do I reach the right audience? Will they even like me?
It seems the world is booming with business mentors and coaches shouting about success and how easy it is for you to have it...and their messages are all the same. Find your ideal client, niche down, work on your brand, deliver your content online with a clear and consistent message and people will come!!
Well, what if they don’t? What if, like me, your lying awake in the dark wondering why you can’t create the same magic? Don’t get me wrong i think business mentors or coaches do a fabulous job, I use them myself. But what if it hasn’t worked for you and it’s left you feeling frustrated and confused?
Tonight it’s my logo amongst other things that’s keeping me awake. Persistent as ever I’ve followed the market research and had my logo redesigned again in the hope that more people will like it. My brain is frazzled from hours of starring at a screen wondering what design will make people want my services. When I finally come up with a couple of new designs I’m asked which one do you think your ideal client will like? I literally want to scream into the computer ‘I don’t fucking know!! ‘How the hell am I supposed to know which one they will like’. But I don’t! I take a deep breathe, reapply myself and go back to thinking it all out again. It’s like I’m waiting for someone to tell me I’ve cracked some sort of magic code.
I’ve spent thousands, literally thousands and don’t seem to have got far. I’ve always been hard working and dedicated but I’ve found these processes exhausting. They are supposed to build you up and I have no doubt that for many they do! You see the success stories everyday, a simple formula that’s transformed the lives of many! I hear and read about them in the many Facebook groups that now spam my daily news feeds! There is no escaping them. I have a full time job as well as my business and I’m successful in that but I’ve always dreamt of working for myself hence why I decide to take the leap. Dreams are just that without action after all, right?
Some of the things that come with success make me uncomfortable if I’m honest. I’m always worried about coming off flashy or pretentious. I’m conscious in case others around me are going through more difficult times than I am. Even typing that makes me think who the f**k do I think I am?? Who else actually gives a flying rats arse about your success?? Stop being so self indulgent!
I thought these processes were going to help me develop and change my life. Whilst I have definitely developed and learnt new skills my life hasn’t changed (other than having less time and feeling pressure). I don’t dislike my life, i love my life, it’s great. Sometimes I just feel sad that I haven’t made it yet, like really made it! But what does that even look like? I guess it’s different for everyone.
The driver for my success has never been solely my own needs and wants. My motivation has always been my family. I have always wanted to do better and therefore earn more to be able to help those closest to me. To help give them a better life.
Sometime I wonder If the greatest shame is that we get so bogged down in these processes that we forget we’re actually really good at what we do? I’ve spent that long working on the brand and my ideal client etc that no one has ever seen how good i am (outside of my day job and closest peers). I am genuinely really good at helping people navigate through their stuff! Helping co ordinate and fix people’s day to day problems is what I do best.
This isn’t all doom and gloom, I’m just thinking that when you catch yourself in those moments where your feeling a bit perplexed with it all we should learn to give ourselves a break. Maybe it’s ok that your branding still needs a tweak or that you don’t know who your ideal client is right from being of your journey.
There has been loads of positives come of this process for me. But if nothing else It has reminded me to be grateful for what I have. I have a nice home, a loving husband, an amazing family and friends. So long as we are all safe and well, perhaps none of the rest really matters. I was raised not to quit, to always endeavour to be the best you can be and I have tried.. very hard!!
Maybe for now it’s time to appreciate the level of success I have already achieved and be content that this IS enough!